Month: September 2009

9:30 AM — I actually had my pills early enough that I was able to eat breakfast today… sort of. I had what I call a cinnamon tea — hot water, a dash of cinnamon, fat-free creamer, and sweetener. Add in some Melba Toast, and you’ve got my breakfast. Pathetic, but better than yesterday.

1:00 PM — I had chicken crepes for lunch today, at the Junior League. It was one if those recurring, monthly appointments that I try to keep every month and cancel more often than I should. I’ve always found lunching at the Junior League to be one of those experiences you can’t describe adequately. You just have to go at least once.

8:00 PM — I had an after work seminar that derailed any progress I’ve made this week. Two brownies, two sandwiches, and iced tea (yes, with caffeine). I will pay for this, I know.

I’m beginning to think I need real help with my goals. I won’t start to freak out until I am 12 months from deadline, but that’s not that far away. And, in the meanwhile, I sm disappointing myself every say.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

9:00 AM — the unfortunate truth is that I am a stress eater. I realize and accept this. On days like today I want comfort food. I have a high-stress day, which means that it’s 9 am and I already want a handful of the muffins on the refreshment table. It’s not a question of whether or not I am going to have a muffin, but how many it will be. Of course, no breakfast today, which just makes things worse.

2 PM — after the stress of the day, lunch was a parrillada at Taquería Arandas. I ate the rice and beans, plus two corn tortilla tacos with mixed meat. Very tasty, but I ended up with a lot of leftovers. It was a heavy lunch, but not what I really wanted: a couple of shrimp quesadillas and a large order of fries. But this seemed better overall.

8:00 PM — I had the rest of yesterday’s salad for dinner and resisted the impulse to reheat the fajitas and eat them as well. But my brain keeps telling me that I’m still hungry. I want to eat more. I want rolls and fries and things covered in cheese. But I won’t have them. I am determined not to have them.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

8:00 AM — remembered to take my pills today and weigh in. the scale surprised me. I gained weight over yesterday. Was it the cake? Anyway, there won’t be breakfast today. I have to wait two or three hours before I have anything to eat. By then, I’ll be deep into my first meeting of a daylong schedule of meetings. I’ll be lucky to get lunch today.

1:39 PM — stopped by Subway to pick up a sandwich on my way back into the office. A sweet onion chicken terayaki sub on Italian bread, without cheese or mayo. No chips, no soda.

8:00 PM — I picked up a salad from the local Souper Salad on my way home. As you can tell, I still haven’t been to the groceries to buy real food, and I really don’t keep a lot of food in the house these days. A salad to go from the salad bar usually lasts me two days. So I’ll probably be having a salad tomorrow too.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

10:30 AM — breakfast was cottage cheese with fruit. I switched to mint tea, which is not as much fun, but better than plain water.

3:39 PM — I didn’t actually have lunch. But I had to go to an event at work, which means I had a plate of finger foods and a small slice of cake. It was all washed down with a glass of lemonade.

9:00 PM — dinner was a Greek salad with the dressing on the side, from Cafe Express. Had a wonderfully long conversation with my friends. I think we were there for three hours or so, just talking and talking and talking. It was great.

Notihing else to report today.

{{Written on my iPhone}}

9:30 AM — breakfast was scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon and a biscuit… from Kroger’s deli. I haven’t bought groceries in two or three weeks, so I don’t have anything in my place to make breakfast. I took the opportunity to get caffeine-free tea, fruit and cottage cheese. And lots and lots of water.

I did weigh in, but am too depressed over the resuts to discuss even here. And, yes, I did take my pills this morning. It’s three days in and I’m wondering why I bother.

3:00 PM — I just realized that I missed lunch. That was not on purpose. Oddly, I’m not hungry.

8:30 PM — dinner was hot wings with all the accessories. And this is the point at which you ask me: “do you really think that’s a diet?” with an incredulous tone of voice. And I would have to answer “no, I don’t.”

And that’s the whole point, isn’t it?

{{Written on my iPhone}}