Memories from a shampoo girl

Welcome to the world of hair
Edited, Photo by David Yamasaki.

Did you know that I used to work in hair salons? I ask that in the almost the same voice I would use when admitting to working in a strip club or doing singing telepgrams… and that voice is filled with dismay. Once I narrate some details for you, you will understand why.

My second job ever (and third and fourth) was in a hair salon. (This only qualifies as my second job if you don’t take into account when I was a cashier at my Dad’s meat market, which no one ever does.) I was hired as a receptionist for that first salon job, which actualy meant cashier. No such thing as a simple cashier in a salon (I found out in my several-year stint in the industry). 

I got the job by answering a want ad. Yes, that was back when I was naive enough to think that you found a job by looking at the want ads. And, lo and behold, I did find one. (Do people still do that? Find jobs from job listings?)

The only experience I had was some time working in a McDonald’s. But, you have to understand, this was an independently-owned restaurant in a chain of six that were run by a former navy officer and his wife. They paid us two dollars over minimum wage (back then), gave scholarships to the college students and expected nothing but excellence in all things. I can still tell you how long it took to cook a quarter pounder hamburguer and why you weren’t supposed to scoop up the ice with the glass (two minutes and because it left wax on the rest of the ice). I was trained to smile while I moped. So, while McDonald’s was my only experience, I was a very well-trained restaurant employee.

One of the many jobs I had during college was in a hair salon. Actually, I worked in three separate salons over a period of nearly three years. i a quired a good understanding of working with the public, a dismaying look at how much womens share with their hairdressers, and a lack of respect for hairstyles.

I’m not the person to complain to when your hair stylist takes off an inch too much. I’m not going to have any sympathy at all.

I had friends who worked as waitresses or bartenders, I worked in hair. And that gave me the backseat to many a real soap opera. Did you realize that women tell their hairdressers everything? And I mean everything? We found about about them cheating on their husbands, their mistakes at work, their problems with their kids, and their many many phobias and problems. It all poured out of them in every visit, every session. 

One day I will write a book about it. And not just about the customers. The hairdressers were an education as well. In particular, as I worked my way into more expensive hair salons, the more “artistic” the haridressers became. That means that they were unique in a way that defied my experience.

People are weird, especially when they’re being themselves. I found out that people will remove their filters when they’re dealing with those outside their social circles, with people who have no impact on their lives. 

And thus, I never became a hairdresser. 

Photo Credit: Edited, Photo by David Yamasaki

The fattest I’ve ever been

Edited, Photo by Emma.

I hate to go shopping. I always have. I even used to hate to go shopping before I gained all the weight.

That was a long time ago.

The most real statement I’m ever going to make: I’ve gained 70 pounds in the last 5 years

Seventy pounds is a whole human being. It’s half what I’m supposed to weigh, according to the doctors. It’s a lot of fat to be carrying around.

Second real statement for this post: I was already fat fat before I gained those 70 lbs.

I’ve never been a thin person. I was never svelte, never one of the ideal figure girls. But I used to have a very nice hourglass figure. I would have been called voluptuous, well-endowed. Once upon a time I had no muffin top and a nice waist (for my size). 

Those days are behind me.

I had a very chilling moment this weekend as I tried on clothes at the plus sized store I shop at. I bought one item that is the largest size they carry

Ok, let me clarify that if I gain any more weight I’m going to have to special order online. Yes, that’s how fat I am now.

As the title of this post declares, I am the fattest I’ve ever been in my whole life.

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know that I have made lackluster attempts to lose weight. I lack conviction, focus when it comes to following through on them. I wonder if the fact that I won’t be able to find clothes in the open market any more will be a better inducement.

Let’s see how 2013 goes for me and this challenge. 

proof God loves me (A.K.A., why I don’t need new phones)

Edited, photo by anthony kelly

I had a very bad few minutes earlier today when I got back to my office after lunch to realize that I had left both my personal phone and my work-issued mobile phone on a chair at the restaurant where I had lunch.

I scrambled there, briskly walking the two blocks to the restaurant, which was located in the downtown tunnels, telling myself the entire way there that I was not going to find them. Really, my inner voice kept taunting me, do you really believe you’re going to find them?

When I arrived at the location and couldn’t find my phones anywhere, my worst-case scenario was coming true.

I wasn’t worried about my personal phone. I own an iphone 3GS that I’ve been meaning to replace. I can go on my ipad and locate it, wipe it, and not worry about the content. I keep it locked, so it should be fine for a few minutes.

My work phone, however, is not locked. On top of the potential for someone to just go on and steal my info — I keep my entire contact list on it — I worried about the fact that my office has a policy that states clearly that I would be written up and reprimanded for the loss of the phone. I would have to replace it, sure, but the reprimand would sting. Even if I did earn it.

As a last-ditch effort, I pulled out my ipad, launched Skype and called my personal phone. I thought that I might hear the ring from the purse or jacket of whoever “claimed” it off the chair… and someone answered… and she told me she had both my phones… and she told me where I could pick them up.

Five minutes later I had both phone in my hands. A custodian had found the phones and turned them in to the security guard of the building upstairs. The security guard was holding on to them.

All I had to do was prove that they were mine.


That was very good luck. And my faith in others is restored for the day. And I know that someone upstairs is looking out for me.

I thnk, maybe, I’ll hold on to the phones for a while.


Rules for a public restroom

Lock the Door!
Edited, Photo by Koocheekoo

I realize that not everyone thinks the same way, but I’ve decided that I need to share some basic rules for using a public restroom. If nothing else, this will keep me from yelling at some random person in real life.

Rules to follow

1. Lock the Door! If you are using one of the stalls in the employee restroom in a building with 100+ employees, then it’s your responsibility to lock the door. I am not going to knock. Expecting me to knock is ridiculous. And getting mad at me because I saw your naked backside because I didn’t knock is stupid. It’s your fault.

If you consistently refuse to lock the door, and have the repeated experience of flashing some poor unsuspecting coworkers (namely me), I have to infer that you are a closet flasher and want to inflict your nakedness on others. Get help.

2. Don’t pollute the air! There are some smells that are unavoidable, and I’m leaving that conversation untouched. However, if you absolutely cannot go through the day without spritzing yourself with your favorite perfume or scent several times a day, do not do it in the shared/public bathroom. Despite how much you like it, the rest of us are choking on the smell for the next few hours. That’s just inconsiderate.

3. Despite the name, it’s not a BATHroom. I applaud your desire to use your lunch hour to power walk. That’s great. It’s wonderful that you are taking that time to improve your health. But, and here’s the truth, you cannot use the bathroom as your “in lieu of shower” location. Do not give yourself a spongebath using one of the few sinks available to the rest of us. And, I implore you, do not do this in full view of everyone else. Have some modesty, or at least some respect for the public area.

4. Clean up after yourself. And, last but not least, do not leave presents on the seat. I’m not quite sure about the acrobatics it takes to leave that level of… evidence of your presence every time your visit the bathroom. What I do know is that you leaving it there is gross. And, since (theoretically) you’re an adult, I have to assume it’s on purpose.

Also, if you’re going to run the water and wash your hands in such a way that the entire counter is left wet, then you are expected to clean it up. Yes, we do have custodians who come in to clean the room a few times a day. However, it’s not likely they’re going to get to it before the next person in line tries to wash her hands without endingup with water (and soap) all over her clothes because you were too lazy to watch where you were dripping.

I’m sure there are other rules, but these are the ones I needed to share today.

And thus endeth the public service announcement.

Recipes and food posts to bookmark; December 7th list

Have you ever had Mole de Chocolate? If not, you really need to try it. If you have, then I have a recipe for you! SpanglishBaby’s Ana Flores posted a simple recipe that’s going into my cookbook. 

Even though Thanksgiving is behind us, you should definitely bookmark and try out this Texas Thanksgiving Pecan Pie, from Vianney (from Sweet Life Bake). Pecan pie is one of my favorites, lightly warmed and accompanied by vanilla ice cream. And it’s good for any time.

I’ve been looking for Butternut Squash recipes, since I have some diced and frozen just waiting to be used. I came across this lovely recipe for Butternut White Chocolate Chip Bars that looks easy enough to make.