Tired, hungry and short-tempered. I’m indulging today, right now, in a bacon cheeseburger with fries and a diet soda.
Diet be damned, at least for today.
This is my first diet cola in more than six months. It will be my first real bacon cheeseburger in just as long.
I won’t bother weighing myself tomorrow. I haven’t weighed myself in more than a week.
I know that I would lose more weight if I were faithful to the diet. The problem is that that’s not fun. My way, I deviate every once in a while and still lose a pound every week or so. As a plus, I’m not so bored with the diet that I quit altogether.
Today is stress-induced. I know that I haven’t been following my diet lately because of stress. My react badly to emotional factors. And there have been a lot of emotional factors lately.
I wish I were one of those people who get stronger with challenges. I always rise to the challenge, always meet my goal, always do the thing that needs to get done — but I sacrifice my personal well-being in the process. I over-eat, sleep less, keep weird hours, and start forgetting things like daily pages and meditation and yoga, and it all goes to hell in a hand basket.
Is work worth that?
What’s my choice?
I’m sitting in an empty restaurant, having “lunch” at 3 PM. I forgot to pack any snacks, protein bars or anything to tide me over. I haven’t been drinking my water, have had too much caffeine and am too stressed. Surely not conducive to a good emotional being.
Did I mention that my back hurts? Yes, one more thing to add to the list.
My friend says “find your bliss.” I’d love to follow that advice, but I don’t know what my bliss is.
Gonna stop typing now, gotta finish my lunch and go back to the office.
