Because “sick to your stomach” isn’t JUST a saying

I once had a job where I was quite literally sick to my stomach every single day. At least for the first four or five months. At some point it stopped. Why I stayed, I’ll never figure out.

Every once in a while I go through a day, or two, when I become familiar with that feeling once again. I think this is what dread feels like too. Or maybe I’m just confusing the two.

Today I really want a glass of wine, and I don’t actually drink. I’m craving a cigarette, which I haven’t had since high school. I wish I had the kind of personality that let me take pain pills to make me fuzzy.

I’m too clearheaded right now. I am sick to my stomach.

Today is a Voodoo doll day. There isn’t a drink or a pill or a thing that’s going to make it better.

In my next life “sick to my stomach” days will not exist. I just haven’t figured out how to make that happen.

NOTE: this was written a few months ago and post-published,
for my sanity and to preserve the anonymity of those involved.
But if this applied to you, you know who you are. 

Author: Paloma Cruz

Find out more about Paloma Cruz through the About page. Connect with her on Twitter ( and (Facebook).

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