cutting my losses

One of the hardest decisions you can make (or that I’ve had to make) is when to call it quits. Either deciding that you have a cancel a project because it’s going to be/is a failure or making the decision to stop a relationship, it’s never easy. When do you do that?

I’m re-reading The Dip in an effort to get someone else’s perspective on when enough is enough. So far, I haven’t read the secret yet. I’ll let you know if that happens.

The reason this is especially poignant today is that I’ve been stood up/canceled on by a long-time friend… again. Out of every plan or appointment we make to get together, I realize that most are initiated by me. And of those plans, she cancels more than half (sometimes just failing to show up).

Today I had even turned down other invites (since most of us have the day off) since I had already committed with her for lunch. I feel kind of silly sitting along in this hotspot, catching up on email, when I could have been doing a shopping day out with family. Yes, my friend once again canceled on me, via text message.

She does this like my time isn’t important, like the commitment was
nonexistent, or just like I don’t matter. And, yes, that irks me a
great deal.

I am calling it quits. If she wants to invite me out, she’s welcome to do it. But I don’t think I’m going to be initiating plans any more. And I’m sorry to make that decision, and voice it to myself. I’ve known her forever and it feels like quite a loss, somehow.

I’m not quitting the friendship. I’m not saying that I won’t meet her for lunch or coffee in the future (though if she continues to stand me up I may have to do that too). What I’m saying it that the ball is in her court now.

Author: Paloma Cruz

Find out more about Paloma Cruz through the About page. Connect with her on Twitter ( and (Facebook).

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