I should know better than to go shopping. I really should. Apparently I don’t, though.

I’ve put on at least 15 pounds in the last year. Well, actually, it’s about 20. I know why, mostly because I’ve let myself use food for comfort and I’m sure that some psychologist somewhere can tell me all the psychobabble about why I do that and know to stop it. And if I could afford a therapist, I’m sure that I wold be cured or something. Since I can’t, I allow myself to cling to the idea that I’m going to… gasp!… diet and lose the weight. Which, of course, I haven’t. Which means that a lot of my clothes no longer fit. And since I haven’t had money, don’t have money, I haven’t gone shopping.

My mother and sisters gave me shopping money for my birthday. And I went, and I spent, and I overspent. I ended up footing about $300 of my own money on new clothes. Pants and skirts and blouses, oh my! It’s just my luck that when I have the least amount of money to spare, I find everything in my size. Isn’t that just the way it goes? So I bought it. Everything my heart desired. Everything I liked, everything that I thought I might have some use for, everything I tried on that fit (pretty much).

So now I have a nice wardrobe, but owe even more money.

When I quit my weekend job, I knew that I would be losing cash in the short-term, but I thought that my freelance business would pick up. And it hasn’t. Money isn’t coming in, and I’m spending it like there’s no tomorrow.

I really wish that I’d learned how to save money, be frugal, responsible with cash. But that’s one of those things that I just never conquered and still I try.

Any suggestions?

And worrying about money isn’t doing my food problem any good. The only good thing is that I gain weight evenly, so my bust size and waist size and hips increase at the same rate. So it still looks like I have a figure. (Yes, I am vain enough that that worries me.) And the other good thing is that there isn’t anybody to please right now. If I had to worry about what my significant other was thinking right now too, I don’t think I’d make it.

Hmmmm. At least I have all these nice clothes to keep me happy while I worry.

Image source: Andi_Graf / Pixabay

Author: Paloma Cruz

Find out more about Paloma Cruz through the About page. Connect with her on Twitter ( and (Facebook).

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