In pain

OpenClips / Pixabay

The past few days have been marked by overwhelming and consistent pain in my lower back. It hasn’t been this bad in years. I’ve been trying to minimize it with a combination of over-the-counter muscle relaxers and pain killers, but that’s not working. Will need to go to the doctor’s office for real medicine, and a diagnosis on what caused the pain. I didn’t do anything, just woke up one day unable to straighten up. And the pain seems to be getting worse every day. Lovely.

Image source: OpenClips / Pixabay

A nervous tic

2014.02 eyeI can see my heartbeat… in my right eyelid. More accurately, my eyelid is fluttering to the tune of my heartbeat, showing me my pulse. If I place my finger lightly over it, I can feel it and count it out.

It’s annoying as hell.

This started a few months ago. At first it was once in a few days. Now it’s a few times a day.

I have a nervous tic. WTF???!!!

I read up and “pulsation of the lid it is usually due to stress, fatigue and caffeine intake.” Lovely. I’m not going to reduce my caffeine intake (it’s in the best interest of the safety of the world that that not happen), and my stress isn’t going away. Fatigue… maybe I can do something about fatigue. More sleep would probably be a good thing.

And my eyelid continues doing this fluttery thing… pulse, pulse, pulse, pulse. It doesn’t hurt, but it distracts me. That’s all I needed, one more thing to distract me, one more irritant.

Pulse, pulse, pulse, pulse. In the middle of meetings, as I try to edit videos, while I was recording a TV interview, while trying to focus and take photos… pulse, pulse, pulse, pulse.

Have I mentioned that God hates me?

Tía to the rescue

20131107-100250.jpgI’m writing this from the waiting room of the pediatrician’s office. The kiddo is sick. I got a call from my sister “hoping that you have a flexible day.” Her day, it appears, is not. The kiddo is sick and she has one of those days when she’s not allowed to be a mom. So I’ve called in to work and met her at the doctor’s, with the understanding that I get to be caregiver once we’re done here.

This is not the first time I’ve rearranged work for a nephew (or niece). It won’t be the last.

I expect to update this post throughout the day.

UPDATE, noon — So it turns out the kiddo has strep. We thought it was just the flu. So he’s highly contagious, on top of everything else. The big worry is getting his temperature down (it was 104 point something).

So I’m in charge of the kiddo for the next few hours. My sister had to try to make it to one of those meetings that are written in stone. I did have a flexible day, but I have an event I have to cover this evening. That means we have to switch out late afternoon. She says it’s doable, but we’ll see.

He’s in very good spirits, for a sick boy. We’ll see how it goes.

UPDATE, 2:30 p.m. — His temperature has gone down to 98.1. That’s good. He ate and kept the food down. He seems OK.

I, however, am frantic and worried. There were things I was supposed to do today, in anticipation for tomorrow and the holiday weekend, that aren’t getting done. I have had to rearrange my morning so I can make up some of the time I’m losing today.

But the kiddo is better, and that’s what counts.

UPDATE, 4 p.m. — I made it into the office. The kiddo is once again in his mother’s care. She says she’s staying with him tomorrow.

I hope he feels better soon.

***** Written on my iPad. I promise to proof and edit it later (maybe). ******

How I know I am very very medicated

At 4:30 pm I was looking at my medication, wondering why the one marked “take after breakfast” and the one marked “take after lunch” were both still there. Didn’t I take them?

Then I realized that I hadn’t had lunch… or breakfast… or anything all day that was more substantial than coffee, cough drops, or apple juice… since last night really, when I had a bagel for dinner so I could take the evening meds…. and I had a single taco for lunch yesterday….

I don’t lose my appetite when I get sick. The only thing that ever achieved that was unending days of Vicodin due to pain.

But I’m not on Vicodin. Is it possible that in one of the six meds my doctor prescribed is one that’s having the same effect? No, not possible.

Wait, wait… the other thing that usually happens is that I get loopy.


OK, I’ve had trouble concentrating all day, but I have a partially-collapsed lung, so there’s a reason there. But they were giving me weird looks during the meeting earlier when I gave that annoying woman an eye roll as she explained why her lack of planning was my emergency… And I did warn my boss that if he made me call that other woman to handle her complaint I was going to be truthful with her, only I actually told him which words I’d use to convey that… And I told his assistant that I needed to talk to her but could she wait five minutes while I went to pee…

Oh, yeah, that’s why I’m not hungry.

***** Written on my ipad. I promise to proof and edit it later (maybe). ******

health is scary

What my counter looks like right now.

This is a short follow-up to yesterday’s health post. If you haven’t read it yet, it includes the words partially-collapsed lung.

I get sick very easily. I was a sickly child. I was a sickly teenager. And I am a sickly adult. 

When I was a kid we blamed it on my tonsils. As I grew older, and my tonsils were removed, they were still blamed because I have a weak immune system… or something like that. What it comes down to is that if the weather changes, if there’s a bug going around, if there’s a high pollen count, if I hear a story about someone having a cold… I am going to get sick.

So, you have to understand that my getting a severe head cold overnight didn’t surprise me. That one day later I was miserable just irritated me. I didn’t start to get concerned until I was downing antihistamines with Nyquil every few hours. When I went through a week’s worth of antihistimines in three days, I was a little shocked. I couldn’t breathe, my nose wouldn’t stop running, and my sinus headache was killing me. But I wasn’t really concerned.

I get sick a lot.

It wasn’t until yesterday morning when I was doubled over the bathroom sink, trying desperatly to stop my nosebleed that I realized that maybe it was more than just a cold. Until then I honestly thought I was going in to work. (By the way, the nosebleed was from blowing my nose so much.)

I have a sinus infection and an upper respiratory infection. My doctor gave me a prescription that included six separate items that are expected to take me through the next week and a half. 

And, oh yeah, I have a partially-collapsed lung

And I’m sitting here, concentrating on the fact that I can breathe easier than yesterday, trying to convince myself not to overreact. I can’t do anything about the lung until the infection is over. Unless I get worse, I’m not going to dwell.

Then I am going to get a second opinion. Or several dozen of them.