holiday blues

What is it about the holidays that makes people depressed? Is it all the fake cheer and the reminders of happiness that they don’t quite have? Is it the commercial aspect, the money they end up spending on that one single day? Is it the weather, with the warm summer afternoons a dim memory even on the best of winter days? What is it about this time of year that increases suicides, family arguments and personal angst? Whatever it is, I can’t wait until the holidays are over and the world around me returns to normal. Or at least to the version of normal we have in early November.

confessions of a couch potato

Okay, I’ll admit that I’ve been very busy (or very lazy) lately. I’m assuming that it has something to do with the holidays. Or the weather. Did you know that it’s cold outside? How am I supposed to feel motivated to do extra work when it’s cold outside? I’ll try to give y’all something before I leave to México on Christmas vacation. I love working for the university, it means I get two weeks paid vacation during the holidays.

character sins

I am vain. I know I’m not supposed to be, it isn’t the cool thing to do, but it’s the truth. I touch up my roots with whatever color my hair happens to be this month. (By the way, this month it’s a medium brown that’s just a shade darker than my natural color.) My clothes have to be coordinated, not necessarily dressy, but definitely coordinated. I have been known to check out my appearance in a reflective surface to make sure I still look okay. I touch up my makeup during the day (on the days when I wear makeup).

Does this mean that I’m not really a Feminist? I’ve been told that several times, but I don’t believe that. Just because I indulge myself in a few superficial details that can’t take away from the bigger picture, can it? I am proud. I know all the religious reasons to avoid pride, something about tempting God or whatever, but I cannot help it.

My parents taught me that one of the few things that cannot be taken away from you is your pride. And in certain situations pride is the only thing that can help you get through the bad stuff. So I guess that means I am proud of my pride. I am arrogant. I know what my flaws are, what my sins against society are as a woman with brown skin, but I do not feel shame or sorrow or regret.

I refuse to change myself to adjust to others’ expectations of what I’m supposed to be, their opinions of what attitudes and activities would be best for others, how my selfishness in refusing to change hurts society as a whole or just their little niche of it — too bad! I am what I am, flawed and real, I know what my character sins are and I have no intention of changing.

summer blues

I am a couch potato! That statement is a declaration of independence and/or war, depending on what view of summer, health, and fitness you have. I know that the sun is shining for more hours a day. I know that it’s the summer and tradition dictates that I am supposed to go out and do something physical. I know that the masses are going to the beach, to the park and other places of summer delight. I also know that this is the time of year that encourages people all across the nation to become health freaks and to diet, exercise, and ruin other people’s day by telling them that they should do the same. And I know that it’s supposed to be some sort of crime against nature to sit indoors while everyone else is going out. But — guess what? — it was never the weather or the time of year that kept me inside.

I like the nesting effect. I like being indoors. I like being physically inactive. I like watching television and reading books and listening to music in the air-conditioned comfort of my home.

I really don’t care if you don’t think that’s good for me. And all your voiced worries, nagging, etc. only reinforce my desire to stay away from you and the others outside. So, in the winter, when everyone acts like a couch potato again, we will agree on lifestyles. In the meantime, carry some sun lotion and call me when you get back indoors.