Looking at some of the dÃas I’ve posted recently in this site, I think that I should consider renaming this site to something more appropriate. Maybe something like “The Whining World of Sandra” or “Complaints and Useless Rants.” It seems that that’s the only thing I want to give you. I take the bad moods and yucky feelings (of which there have been many) and give them to you to keep for me. Sometimes it makes me feel better. Sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, I’m filling this place with a negative history.
I don’t think of this site as a journal. First of all, it’s not daily. Even if my life were interesting enough to warrant daily updates, I’m not the kind of enterprising person who could keep to updating every single day. My writing style isn’t consistent enough or clear enough to create a journal. This site is more of a collection of individual thoughts and comments connected by a common author than a diary or journal. I know that I don’t explain myself well and sometimes I don’t even give you any of the important details that would help you understand what the hell I’m talking about. And I don’t intend to change the way I do things.
I am vain enough to believe that there are actually some people out there who enjoy reading what I write. I’m vain enough to believe that I’m a good writer, that I fill these pages with words that have some consequence to the nameless, faceless people out in that shadowy cyberspace world we all visit from time to time. I am vain enough to believe that in spite of my blue moods, or maybe because of them, I am still entertaining.
Maybe I should use this as a warning. Readers beware! I’m dipping into my chocolate stashes. Being a recovering chocoholic, the fact that I’m admitting to falling off the wagon (or is that getting back on the wagon?) should prove how deep into depression I’ve been diving. I’ve been distracted at work. I’ve been antisocial and cranky and bitchy and petty and mean. So far, I’ve kept the more depressing stuff from dripping into these pages. I may not be able to do that effectively for long. I find myself daydreaming when I should be paying attention. I find myself wanting to run away. And I especially find myself wondering if I’ve accomplished anything at all and if I ever will.
Wonder why I titled this page whiny words?
Well, that was another useless little rant. I apologize if I’ve depressed you too much.
ON ANOTHER TOPIC: people are beyond redemption! Three weeks ago a woman, new to our department, made a very nice gesture. She brought in an entire line of bath and body products and put them in the ladies’ room. Every time I walked into the restroom I would be greeted with the scents of raspberry, peach and pear hand lotions and soaps. The gesture was made anonymously. They just appeared one day and nobody seemed to know who brought them in or why. It took two weeks of the gossip mill running for someone to finally hit the mark and figure out who our generous benefactor was. And we were all grateful. Especially those of us who stole them. Last Wednesday the lotions began to disappear. By Friday afternoon they were all gone. What a way to have your nice thought repaid, by having everything stolen. If she never does another nice thing for the ungrateful brats who threw her gesture in her face I wouldn’t hold it against her. Would you?